What a way to say 'Thank You'
by ConventionObsessive
Summary: Its christmas eve, the teasing has gone too far and Tony snaps, how will the team react to Tonys new revelation?
1. Chapter 1

NCIS – Fan Fiction (2)

**A/N Okay – my first completely original story so any feedback would be very greatly appreciated! Just a short taster chapter, do you think it's worth continuing? Reviews are incredible as always!**

It was Christmas Eve and Team Gibbs sat at their desks finishing reports and chatting good-naturedly about their plans for the holidays.

'My brothers are all coming down with their families and we're gonna have a big do at my parent's place.' said Kate, smiling at the thought.

'Same here, I'm picking up my sister and we're going to drive down to my parents house overnight – should be a laugh, give us time to catch up' replied McGee thoughtfully.

'Sounds great McGee! Hey, what about you Tony – got a hot date or are you staying with family?' questioned Kate, looking over to the unusually quiet SFA.

'Yeah,' said McGee, rounding on Tony, 'would have thought you'd be bragging about how many presents your rich Daddy's gonna get you, or how your Mommy's gonna spoil you with seconds of Christmas dinner!'

Tony remained quiet and Gibbs looked up to inspect the reactions of his usually chatty SFA. From what Gibbs knew about Tony's past, he'd had a rocky childhood and his relationship with his parents wasn't the best so he was interested to see what Tony's answer would be.

'I have work to finish.' muttered DiNozzo.

'Aw come on Tony, don't spoil the fun! What's wrong, Mommy on a diet? No Christmas pudding for Tony! Mind you – it wouldn't hurt to shed a bit...' Kate smirked and McGee laughed smugly.

'Don't think Mommy's gonna be too pleased – you are getting a little...'

'My Mother is _dead_!' yelled Tony, 'So would you just _stop_!' he finished, standing and kicking the table hard before turning on his heels and heading for the elevator.

Kate and Tim exchanged shocked and guilty looks and made to get up and follow him.

'Nice one, real smooth way to end for Christmas' Gibbs growled, 'You two stay _right _here and I'll go talk to him.' And with that Gibbs spun around and stormed towards the elevator, mimicking Tony's movements.

The doors opened and just as he stepped inside, Gibbs looked over his shoulder at the shell-shocked agents and shouted 'And you better have those reports on my desk by the time I return!'

'_Fuck.'_

Tim raised his eyebrows slightly at the sound of the usually goody-two-shoes Catholic girl swearing but his mouth was still forming a comical 'O' shape.

'I had no idea...' she carried on.

'Why did we have to go and dig him again and again...' whispered McGee, mostly to himself'

'I had no idea...' Kate repeated, 'I – he never told me! I never...'

'Okay! I get it, he never mentioned it! I still feel awful!' McGee half-snapped.

'Where do you suppose he went? We should really go and apologise...' Kate said, thinking aloud.

Tim looked down, his eyes boring holes through the table. He was still the newbie and he had enjoyed the little pokes at Tony, he would never have usually dared if Kate hadn't led the way. Getting his head round the shock of this revelation, he felt disgusted with himself. Yeah, Tony had pranked with him and occasionally made a joke or two at his expense but generally he had been a great co-worker. Looking back he realised just how many times he'd taken the heat from Gibbs for McGee's mistakes, or somehow distracted the boss while McGee finished the last few sentences of his report.

What a way to say 'Thanks' he thought to himself.

Over with Kate, similar thoughts are crashing round her head.

She thought of all the times Tony had subtly saved her ass from Gibbs, muttering a tip or whispering the answer. Taking the blame for something that was totally Kate's fault to prevent her being sacked back when she was a probie.

What a way to say 'Thanks' she thought to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

What a way to say 'Thank You'  
>Chapter 2...<span>

**A/N - Okay (it seems I start all my sentences with that doesn't it!) Here comes chapter two! I've got a few ideas running but and ideas for ways to progress with this story really welcome, I'm interested to see how you want this to go! Anyhoo – on with the show!**

Tony took a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall. He turned around when the doors opened and made to exit but was met by a flustered Jimmy Palmer – arms laden with medical records.

'Tony!' he said, surprised to see his close friend away from the bullpen during a time Gibbs had supposedly dedicated to paperwork alone.

He and Tony had made an unlikely friendship, although the others (aside from Ducky, who had of course noticed how friendly the two had become) were still to see the two men acting as close as they were.

'What're you doing here?' Jimmy frowned, completely at a loss to why Tony didn't seem to be his usual joking self, 'Dr. Mallard said Gibbs had you all writing up reports!'

There was a pause and Tony became increasingly interested in his shoe-laces.

'Can we... would you...um...?' Tony mumbled, his chin still resting on his chest.

'We should talk' Palmer said decidedly, 'Give me five to deliver these records to the file room and meet me in autopsy – Ducky should be there but that shouldn't matter'.  
>He finished with an encouraging smile and made his way into the elevator Tony had just vacated – still pondering on what could have possibly been bothering Tony so.<p>

NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS

Tony stood utterly still for what seemed like hours but was really only minutes after the elevator door slid shut.

Suddenly, he came to his senses and moved away. Debating where to go, he finally decided on the men's room – he felt dirty with memories and needed to get himself together before Jimmy confronted him.

In truth he had no problem with talking, in fact – he probably needed to do just that and who else to talk _to _but his favourite autopsy gremlin? Scratch it, Jimmy had become more than that, he was his friend. His best friend. And nobody would ever think to question him about Tony's behaviour because nobody would think he had a clue!

Tony snapped out of his thoughts as he reached the door to the bathroom. He knew what he wanted, what he _needed_ to do.

He pushed open the nearest cubicle door and warily locked it behind him. He lifted the toilet lid and bent down in front of it. Taking a slow, deep breath, he lifted two fingers and carefully placed them at the top of his throat, pushing them further down until he felt the sickening feeling and he puked into the toilet.

He'd eaten nothing all day so it was just some coffee-coloured liquid that splashed down into the toilet.

He repeated the process again and again, just as he had done as a child, through his teens and, most days up until he joined NCIS.

He hadn't done this for several years, yet it came so naturally and it felt so normal.

Empty.

Clean.

Tony sighed. He knew doing this was wrong. He knew Gibbs would kill him, possibly fire him, if he found out that this was his way of getting away from things.

But in a sick sort of way it was appropriate. He had started aged 9, after his mother had died. It was his way of getting away from the misery, the abuse from his father, the questions from school, his generally hellish life...

A single tear tracked its way down Tony's tanned face but he quickly scrubbed it out, stood up to open the door and walked over to the sinks.

Splashing water over his face and drying it on his sleeve, Tony straightened his tie and made his way down to autopsy.

After all, he didn't want to attract attention by turning up late.

**A/N – Sorry for the short chapter guys! I'm not sure when I'll next be able to update so I wanted to get something out there and I promise to make the next one a bit longer! And again – your reviews mean so much to me so if ya just press that little button down there and just make a short one ...**


	3. Chapter 3

What a Way to say 'Thank You' – Chapter 3

**A/N – Okay, I know the last chapter got rather mixed reviews but I think some people have jumped to a few conclusions about where I plan to take this! I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to get back to everybody individually but thank you so much to: Kimberly, Glow60, XX-Samantha-XX, FRENCHIE, kbotr, Gloworm41, NickTonyK, ladykale1985, Chandiwrc, Downey For President, tansysam, angelscatie, Kalvinanne, LONG LIVE BRUCAS, Caper25, Shawn989, DarkRose4u, Scotty1994, Ice Threat Power, Karlii and Aren Star – you have no idea how much your reviews mean to me and how much they inspire me to keep on writing! On with the story!**

Taking a deep breath, Tony pulled back his shoulders and stood up tall. The glass doors slid open and he made his way over to where Palmer was standing, absent-mindedly sifting through papers.

'Oh! Hello Tony! I didn't know we had a case right now – I'm afraid I've got nothing for you m'boy! Didn't Jethro have you working cold cases in the run up to Christmas?' The friendly Scottish accent came drifting through the autopsy.

'No, no Doctor – I was just asking Tony here for a little help with revision for my up-coming exams. He's helped me in the past and he's very good at it' Tony was grateful for Jimmy's intervention. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to explain to Ducky why he was down hiding out in autopsy and not with Gibbs back up in the bullpen.

'You know you can always ask me for help Mister Palmer!'

'He didn't want to disturb you Duck, and I'm always happy to help in any way possible...' It was Tony's turn to give Palmer a hand in the excuse department.

'As you wish...' Ducky said slowly, returning to face the x-ray currently pinned to the light board on the wall.

Jimmy turned back to Tony and muttered to him: 'So, what's up? And don't you dare lie to me! I know you well enough to tell...'

Tony hesitated, not for the first time having his doubt about whether or not he should bother Palmer. But he decided against it. Palmer was his friend and he knew more his family and childhood than most of the rest of the team knew all together.

'My mother...' he whispered.

Jimmy gasped quietly, quickly schooling his emotions for the benefit of his friend.

'It's the anniversary of her... passing... isn't it...' he said kindly, 'What happened, it's not normally this hard each year is it?' he prompted gently.

'Tim and ... and Kate...' Tony whispered his voice barely audible.

Jimmy sighed.

He knew all about how McGee and Kate constantly teased Tony. Gently prodding him but he knew this time it must have escalated to something a bit more than that. He had never seen Tony so upset over their not-so-innocent-banter. Of course he had occasionally come to Palmer with regrets. Memories he needed to get off his chest. But never, in all the years Jimmy had worked as Ducky's protégé, had he ever seen Tony in such a state.

'What did they say Tony?' Jimmy asked kindly, 'It might help if you can talk to me about it...'

'Th-they said stuff about... about my mother being mad at me... a-and being... spoiled... especially now it's Christmas...' Tony's voice shook slightly but never broke.

Jimmy closed his eyes and silently cursed Tim and Kate and their total obliviousness to Tony being 'a real boy', to quote Pinocchio, and having feelings that could be severely hurt by others' words – despite what he tried to make everyone believe.

'Oh Tony I'm so sorry...'

He remembered when he had arrived at Tony's apartment and he had found him sitting on the floor crying gently. It had been a tough case and Jimmy had seen it affect Tony more than the latter cared to admit, and certainly more than any of the others had noticed. Palmer had figured he'd go and check on Tony after their shifts had ended. He had thought Tony may need a friendly face and somebody to talk to. In the end it had taken an old bottle of whiskey and some subtle prodding but eventually he had gotten the whole story out of Tony.

It hadn't been pretty.

Tony had drunkenly explained how he'd watched his mother flee the abusive hands of his father, run for the stairs and trip in her alcohol-fuelled dash. He'd explained how he had remembered watching it as in slow motion. She'd landed at the bottom of the flight of stairs, her peach dress splayed out almost elegantly around her. A small cut on her brow the only reminder that she wasn't merely sleeping.

The eight year old Tony had jumped from his hiding place in the cupboard and rushed to aid his mother, only to be struck by his father and locked in the cellar.

That was the last image Anthony DiNozzo junior ever had of his mother, and he remembered every moment of his mother's death in perfect clarity.

As if it happened only yesterday...

Both men were pulled from their reverie's by the loud '_ding_' of the elevator arriving.

Tony turned to face Jimmy, a clear look of panic evident in his bright green eyes.

Palmer barely had time to react before he was grabbed by his arm and dragged at full speed into Ducky's office.

Jimmy opened his mouth to question Tony's actions only to be silenced by a finger to his lips.

'It's Gibbs! He's looking for me and I really don't want to talk to _him_ right now!' Tony whispered urgently.

Palmer nodded in understanding and they both went and knelt by the closed blinds, lifting them only slightly so they could both see the scene unfold before them.

'Ah Jethro, what brings you down to my lair – I believe there are no on-going cases at the moment...'

'I'm looking for DiNozzo.' Gibbs said curtly.

Ducky glanced to the left of Gibbs where he could just make out Jimmy and Tony frantically shaking their heads and making slicing motions across their throats.

The ME frowned but understood the message they were trying to convey.

Gibbs was not to know that there was a certain Very Special Agent hiding out in his office.

'No, I haven't seen him since he came down with you this morning actually. Why were you looking for him?' Ducky asked pleasantly, his voice convincingly portraying the lie that he really didn't have any idea where DiNozzo was.

'I'm worried...' said Gibbs.

**A/N – I know and I'm sorry, nothing really very exiting has happened since the first chapter but I promise things definitely get better from here! It was all necessary I swear! As always – your reviews mean the world to me, they really make my day!**


	4. Chapter 4

What a Way to say 'Thank-You' – Chapter 4...

**A/N – You have no idea how sorry I am for leaving this story alone for so long! I'll try and make this chapter longer than usual to make up for it but I really haven't had much time because I was away for the best part of 2 weeks and I was ill afterwards Thank again for all the lovely reviews I've received, you have no idea how much they make my day! Anyway – on with the story!**

'Whatever's the matter, Jethro?' although by the look on Gibbs' face, Ducky was pretty sure he had a good idea.

Gibbs took a deep breath.

'DiNozzo...' he said.

Ducky sighed.

He had had a pretty good idea something was up when Mister Palmer had appeared with a very weary-looking Anthony at the doors of his autopsy. He had, however, never guessed it to be so serious that Jethro himself would come down after him.

'What has he done now?' Ducky prodded gently.

'Oh, it's nothing that he's done, Duck. More something that has been done _to _him...'

The old ME frowned, puzzled slightly, before it hit him and he put the jigsaw pieces together.

'Kaitlin and Timothy?' he asked, knowing full well how Tony felt about their constant taunts and teasing – even if he did hide those thoughts behind one of his famous masks.

'Got it in one, Ducky'

Tony and Jimmy watched the whole scene unfold from the safety of behind the glass windows of Dr. Mallard's personal office. Kneeling up on the sofa that had its back against the window, they both had a perfect view of Gibbs' back and Ducky's concerned-looking face.

'He's going to tell him everything, even if you don't Tony...' whispered Jimmy, his gaze never wandering from the conversation outside.

Tony nodded silently, holding his breath and waiting for the reaction of the kind old doctor he secretly thought of as a grandfather.

As Gibbs finished up relaying the story of what had happened in the bullpen, Ducky's face was the perfect image of shock.

But it soon turned to anger.

'How _dare_ they! How _dare_ they _attack_ him like that about something so personal so close to Christmas?'

Gibbs looked down to his feet, ashamed; he knew it was partly his fault for letting it go on so far.

But Ducky wasn't done,

'And I've _seen _them do it before! We all have, don't deny it Jethro! You've seen the way he reacts to all the other taunting they subject him to! He hides behind that _bloody _mask of his, that carefree frat-boy persona he builds up as a wall so nobody can see how he really feels...'

Gibbs was shocked.

Jimmy was shocked.

Tony was... Well, _very_ shocked.

Ducky's voice lowered considerably as he said: 'Excuse my language but it needed to be said. And you two can both come out of my office, you can't hide from your demons forever Anthony.' He all but whispered.

Gibbs wheeled around, surprised, as Tony and Jimmy emerged from the office, their heads hung in shame like two small boys waiting to be told off by their father for an act of mischievousness on their behalf.

'Y...You two were in there the whole time! You heard everything?'

Tony nodded solemnly, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to listen in...' he mumbled to his shoelaces.

A sharp smack resounded around the quiet autopsy room, startling them all.

Tony turned around, his mouth gaping like a lost fish.

Ducky had just head-slapped Tony.

_Ducky _had just head-slapped Tony.

_Ducky!_

'What was that for!' Tony said indignantly, 'I didn't do anything!'

'You shouldn't be sorry Anthony! I meant every word I said and you deserve to hear it even if it wasn't in the most... expected of circumstances!'

Tony glanced over at Jimmy who gave him an encouraging smile, before turning back to Ducky and whispering:

'Thank You. Thanks a lot. That means a load to me...'

The medical examiner took one look at the boy and wrapped him in a tight embrace, replying 'Any time m'boy, it's good for you to hear it.'

Tony stiffened at first, not used to being hugged by anyone except Abby (and Abby was most definitely an exception to most of these things!)

But he soon relaxed into it and hugged back slightly.

He tried to remember the last time he had been hugged by anyone but Abby since his mother had died all those years ago, but with the exclusion of drunken man-hugs from his fraternity brothers on the night before he left for the Police Academy, he drew a blank.

They were interrupted by the gruff voice of the ex-marine standing to their left.

'I'll tell the others they can leave early, and you'll be staying with me DiNozzo. We'll talk tonight and sort things out with the others tomorrow.' He said.

'Um, boss – that really isn't necessary. I thought I'd maybe go home, watch a movie get an early night maybe, there's no need to...'

He was cut off again,

'Did that sound like a suggestion to you DiNozzo?' Gibbs said, raising an eyebrow.

'No, Boss. I'll just go grab my stuff boss.' Tony stuttered, making his way out of the autopsy.

'Hey! Wait for me; you probably don't want to face the others alone just yet anyway...' Gibbs said softly.

Tony nodded his agreement and slowed so Gibbs could fall into step beside him.

'That's probably a good idea actually Boss...' He mumbled, his eyes again were focused on the ground just in front of where he was walking.

'Of course it is DiNozzo,' smirked Gibbs, 'I came up with it!'

This caused Tony to smile.

Just a little smile,

But a smile all the same.

'We're getting somewhere...' Gibbs thought happily as the glass doors swept shut behind them.

Jimmy grinned and turned to his mentor.

'Everything you said, you knew Tony was listening the whole time, right? That's why you didn't stop.' He asked.

'Would you think any less of me if I said yes my dear Mr. Palmer?' Ducky said turning around to see eye to eye with Jimmy.

'Never, Doctor!' He said cheerfully.

'I thought not. It's just what the boy needs. To know that there are still people who care about him, even though there are those who seemingly don't. To know that even though his childhood was hell to grow up in, he has a new family now. Here, with NCIS... With us.'

Jimmy was silent for a moment, mulling over what had been said, before saying, more to himself than to anyone else:

'I think Gibbs makes a great surrogate father for him...'

**A/N: So, there it is! Not as long as I originally planned or wanted it to be but at least something is now up! As always, your reviews make my day! Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

What a Way to Say 'ThankYou' – Ch. 5:

**A/N – I know! I'm such a bad person; there was no excuse for leaving this hanging for so long! (but if you're willing to accept it, my granny is moving over from Ireland soon and 'a lot of preparation needed' doesn't even cover it!)**

The elevator journey up to the bullpen was... awkward to say the least.

Tony was convinced he could avoid the oncoming conversation by stubbornly looking anywhere and everywhere _but_ at his boss.

'Look, Tony – I know I'm probably the person you least want to talk to right now. In all honesty, you probably want to be alone right now, but you're coming with me so I can prove to you how much you mean to so many people...'

Tony was silent, unsure of how to respond to his usually monosyllabic, gruff-toned boss.

'Going all sentimental on me now, boss?' He said, feebly attempting to regain a little of his mask that had been quite literally hacked off of him.

Gibbs smiled and gently cuffed him around the back of his head, not quite having the heart to fully head-slap him for fear of the phrase 'Kicking a man when he's down' coming into play.

'You wish DiNozzo'

There was a small ping and the elevator slowed to a stop, the doors sliding open.

Tony shrank back against the cold, metal wall.

'You don't want to come through?' Gibbs asked gently, placing his foot in the door so they didn't close and end up on a different floor.

'I-I don't really want to face them...'

'...after they saw your reaction earlier. That's fine, I understand. Stay here; I'll grab your stuff'

Tony nodded slowly, ashamed of his obvious weaknesses showing in front of his boss.

'Back in a mo' Gibbs said as he removed his foot from the door and strolled into the bullpen like nothing was the matter.

'Gibbs! How's...' Kate began, standing up as the ex-marine came into view.

But Gibbs cut her off.

'Stop. I'll deal with you later. You try and contact Tony, you upset him further, and it'll be sooner – and I won't be held responsible for my actions. You've both done enough damage already. Go home, you're finished here.'

Gibbs swung around his desk and walked past Tony's, picking up both their bags in one fluid movement.

Exiting swiftly, he left the two younger agents standing open-mouthed, their brains buzzing with shock that soon melted into utter shame.

They had upset Tony.

They had disappointed Gibbs.

And they were ashamed.

'We've screwed up.' Kate whispered after they had both regained their composure.

'Big time, Kate, Big time...'

NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS

Tony heard a sharp rap at the closed doors of the elevator. He stood up slowly from his position on the floor and flicked off the emergency stop switch, causing the doors to slide once again.

'Come on son,' sighed Gibbs, observing the worn looking Senior Field Agent and knowing full well he was both physically _and _emotionally drained, 'Let's get you home, we still need to talk!'

Tony smiled to himself; he had never been called 'son' by his own father let alone by Gibbs! But he liked the feeling it gave him, of being wanted.

Of being loved...

The walk back to the car was made silently, neither man really willing to talk until at least a mug of bourbon each had been downed.

Upon entering the car, Gibbs turned to Tony: One hand coming to rest on the younger man's knee and their eyes met.

'You're going to have to tell me everything _sometime_ kid, so you may as well do it when we get back to my place. I know for certain that after Shannon and Kelly died, talking through it with my Dad sure helped clear my thoughts and made me feel a whole lot better...'

Tone raised his eyebrows half-heartedly,

'Never picked you for a touchy-feely kinda guy really boss, woulda thought you'd be too tough for that kind of stuff.' He said.

'No, DiNozzo, being upset isn't a sign of weakness. Showing you need a little help once in a while doesn't make you any less of a man, and you should really learn not to take everything your father taught you as a child as the law!'

Tony smiled slightly, 'I think you're right there boss-man...'

Gibbs gave a low chuckle before pulling out of his space and making his way down the main road to his house, choosing to drive at a reasonable speed to give Tony time to get on top of his thoughts before he confronted him about today's events.

He was positive Tony would need it.

**A/N: Okay, I know it was a relatively short one and a bit of a filler but I didn't want to give anything away before the next chapter! I'm also about to upload a new'un so please feel free to check that one out as well!**


	6. Chapter 6

**WHAT A WAY TO SAY THANKYOU, CHAPTER 6.**

**A/N: Okay so quick authors note so I can address a few necessary points. First of all apologies for the lack of updates since last January. In early February of 2012 my mother was unexpectedly killed in a road accident that claimed the lives of four other people, the last year has been very tough on my whole family, especially me and my siblings as my estranged father attempted to take my step-father to court over custody. I hope you can understand that the familial nature of this story made it difficult for me to return to writing sooner.  
>Secondly I'd like to address some issues pointed out by my kind reviewers!<br>1) The use of double speech marks ('') instead of single ('), I'm on it!  
>2) 'More depth and description' hopefully this chapter is a little better, I understand maybe this whole story is moving quite fast!<br>3) More focus on 'Tony/Gibbs' than 'Tony/Jimmy' as specified in the description. Patience, this is all coming!  
>4) Tony appearing 'weak and girly' and as one reviewer so eloquently pointed out 'like a f*cking pansy, whut r u lyk a twat or sumfin?'<br>(I admit that this story may not be absolutely everybody's cup of tea but if you're planning on criticizing me so forcefully, please use correct grammar or your review, I can assure you, **_**will **_**be deleted!)  
>Thanks for being so patient, now on with the story!<strong>

Gibbs pulled up outside his house, cutting the engine and climbing slowly out of his car.

He watched Tony carefully but the only move he had made since they had stopped driving was to undo his seatbelt.

Gibbs opened Tony's door and crouched down slightly so he was more at his SFA's level.

"Come on, DiNozzo, It's getting cold out here! Come on inside and we can have a drink and sort this whole mess out"

Tony looked round at his boss. He had a vague idea that Gibbs was trying to coax him into the house but right now there was so much going on in his head...

Swinging his legs out of the car, Tony smiled sadly at Gibbs,

"I think it's gonna take more than just the one drink to sort _this_ mess out, Gibbs".

Gibbs didn't miss the fact that Tony had gestured to himself when talking about the mess, as if he thought that he was the problem not the people that had shaped his childhood and who he was today.

They walked up the drive in silence, Gibbs opening the door and letting Tony inside.

Tony made his way into the living room and sat down on the end of a couch, eyes boring into the floor.

Gibbs had dropped his bag in the hall and gone straight to the kitchen where he pulled to beers from his almost-empty fridge and went to sit opposite Tony in a worn black recliner.

"Thanks"

Tony murmured as Gibbs tossed a beer to him.

Pulling up the sleeve of his jacket, Tony hooked the metal cap of his beer bottle on the rim of his charm-bracelet chain and twisted it sharply, the cap falling neatly into his open palm.

"I have bottle-openers yah know, no need to put yourself out! Where did'ya learn something like that?"

Gibbs questioned, momentarily distracted from the task at hand by the neat trick he'd just witnessed.

"You want the truth or what I tell everyone else?"

Tony calmly replied, thinking that if he was gonna spill his guts tonight that one more little secret wasn't going to hurt.

Gibbs looked up at him,

"The truth"

"We used to do it all the time in the Army with our dog tags, whenever we had the occasional beer or even if someone had soda bottles or something..."

Gibbs was in shock.

Scratch that, he was in such shock he was still looking for words to emphasise how much more that shock the shock he was feeling was.

He was...

Shocked.

"I know," Tony was now all but whispering, "I should have probably brought up my army career earlier. In all fairness it is on record somewhere... It was only for a short time, four stints in Iraq, three in Afghanistan and a few months in the Philippines for Freedom Eagle. I was invalided home after being shot in the knee during a hostage situation"

"I thought that happened playing soccer at college?" Gibbs cut in.

"It didn't" came Tony's short reply as he looked Gibbs straight in the eye, bowing his head again before continuing.

"I suppose I should probably start at the beginning..."

"It's always a good place to start" smiled Gibbs.

Tony let out a long breath before getting to his feet and pacing behind the settee, beer in hand.

Gibbs sat where he was, took a long sip of lager and waited for Tony to begin his explanation. He knew that a wrong move now could cause his boy to shut him out completely and if that happened he may never get the full truth.

"I was born in New York City on 8th July 1978. It was and 'unfortunate accident', my father said, but my mother's family was all against abortion so they went through with it. My mother was considerably younger than my father, not yet ready for parenthood, and she went into a sort of denial. She had no idea how to look after me so it was all left to the help so she could party at important business conventions into the wee hours of the morning without having to worry about being home to put her little boy to bed."

Tony sighed as a wave of memories washed over him. He wiped a hand down his face, hoping to iron out some of the lines of fatigue.

"My father was much the same; the only difference being the scarce attention I received was negative, rather than the smothering 'mothering' my mother did whenever she was bored or had nothing else to do. My mother remained completely oblivious of my father's form of 'punishment' until I was six years old. She came home early from a drinks party; my father hadn't been expecting her for at least a few hours and had decided a good beating would pass the time sufficiently... She walked in and my father had me by the ankle, screaming profanities and beating me senseless with the leg of my own desk chair."

Gibbs didn't know what to say. He'd known Tony's childhood had been rocky and there were times he'd picked up on certain behavioural habits that seemed out of place, things like flinching when he'd done something wrong and Gibbs had gone to headslap him. Not regular 'oh-no-here-comes-another-headslap' type flinches, more 'cr*p-he's-about-to-beat-me-to-a-pulp' type flinches. But before now, Gibbs couldn't have even imagined the extent of the suffering that was inflicted on his Tony at such a young age.

"She had said nothing, not at first. She'd known she wouldn't stand a chance up against a man like my father, so she'd said nothing, closed the door and retreated to her room. But nothing was the same after that night, not ever, up until the day she died."

Tony had become quiet, thoughtful, and was in Gibbs' opinion quite obviously reflective over his words. There was a pause and Gibbs wondered if Tony had ever told anyone the full story before, aloud... and a real person? Tony continued, snapping out of his thoughts, and carried on with his tale, his voice finding a more matter-of-fact tone now.

"The day my mother found out about what my father had been doing to me since the day I was born, was the first day she drank to drown her sorrows. Well of course she'd consumed alcohol in reasonably vast quantities before but always for social occasions, never for... 'Personal reasons' as she called them. She never interfered in my father's activities, although when she got her head around the whole idea she began helping me indirectly: in her own little way. She'd have ice packs prepared and laid by the foot of my bed at night, to make sleeping that little bit more comfortable. Occasionally she'd slip paracetamol into my school bag so the day seemed that little bit shorter and a whole lot less painful."

Gibbs ran a hand through his hair, struggling to remind himself that they were talking about a seven year old boy dealing with all the cr*p given to him by his abusive father.

"And then she died, when I was eight years old."

Well. That was not what Gibbs had expected to come next.

Of course he was aware that Tony's mother had died some time ago, but he had no idea it had been so early on in his childhood.

"She was running from my father, both of them were plastered after an evening out with some of my father's business associates, and she'd done something wrong. To be honest I don't even remember what it was she had supposedly done, but my father freaked out and chased her – screaming that she was 'asking for a beating' and 'when I get my hands on you'... As soon as I knew what was going on I had hidden in a laundry cupboard. I know, it was a cowards move and I should have gone to help my mother but-"

Gibbs interrupted sharply.

"Don't say that. You're wrong, Tony. You were eight years old. Hiding from confrontation like that was most certainly NOT the coward's way out. You were scared and you did what any other little boy would have done. Don't ever let yourself think otherwise."

Tony took a deep, shuddering breath and smiled his thanks at Gibbs.

He took yet another swig of his beer, glad that the alcohol was there to help him continue. If he was totally in his right mind, Tony knew he would never be spilling his guts to his boss like this.

But the circumstances had certainly changed, and he definitely wasn't in his right mind after what happened with Kate and Tim earlier that very day.

Glancing at the clock, Tony realized it was already 7:30 and they had left the office over an hour and a half ago. He knew it was going to be a long night.

"I opened the cupboard door, just a crack, and my mother saw me. 'Keep safe, my wonderful little boy, keep safe!' she whispered to me"

Tony's voice was now barely above a whisper.

"But then my father came storming around the corner and she turned to flee, and flew. Right down the stairs. I remember watching it in slow motion: she never tumbled, didn't trip, she took a step and there was no floor left, so she flew. She was in the air for 14 steps before she landed at the bottom. At first I didn't realize she was dead, her peach coloured party dress was splayed out around her and her golden curls still falling down her back. It looked like she was sleeping, like she'd just passed out at the bottom of the stairs, but there was a small bloody cut above her left eyebrow and I knew. I knew deep down that she had gone to be with the angels."

A single tear meandered down Tony's face, but he scraped it away with the palm of his hand before any more fell.

Gibbs took a deep breath, proud of his boy and the fact that after all these years he had finally built up the courage to tell someone about his childhood.

"It was then I charged from my hiding place, taking the stairs in threes until I was kneeling by the side of my mother. I scraped her hair back from her face to get a better look but I could see she wasn't breathing. The stupid naive little boy side of my brain convinced me that there was still a chance for her to roll over, sit up, and hold me tightly against her chest while she whispered words of comfort and told me it was all a bad dream. I pulled her onto her back and shook her shoulders gently, my own tears rolling down her porcelain skin and diving off her glacier-like cheekbones. She had always been a stunning woman, even in death."

By then Tony had come to accept that there was no going back. He had come this far and from here he would have to go on and tell Gibbs everything about his past, all the way up to the day he joined NCIS.

"My father stood at the top of the stairs the whole time this was going on. He didn't move once. 'Step away from her, Junior. I'll have someone arrange the body to be moved someplace else'. That was all he said to me, and that was the last time I saw my mother. The funeral was a quiet affair, my father forbade me from attending, but Marco the house chef had Thomas the chauffer drive me to the cemetery after everyone had left so I could pay my respects and lay flowers by her grave."

Gibbs couldn't stand it any longer. He stood up, placed his bottle on the coffee table, and moved over to stand in front of Tony.

Tony looked up from the spot on the floor that he had been focusing on for the last couple of minutes, surprised that he hadn't noticed Gibbs' change of position, but didn't have time to fully process what was going on before Gibbs enveloped him in a warm, loving embrace.

Tony stood, stunned by his boss's rare show of affection, before lifting his arms and reciprocating the grasp.

All he really wanted to right then and there, was to break down in Gibbs' arms and have him hold him until there was nothing left inside, then go and sleep in his big comfy bed for days.

But he knew if he stopped he would never be able to continue at a later date.

So after a few moments, Tony took a deep breath and took a step back, away from the warmth and security of Gibbs' arms.

"Thanks Boss... Gibbs. That helped a lot more than you probably think"

The two of them made their way back around to the settee and sat, taking long swallows of beer.

"Nothing really happened for about three years after my mother's death, well, apart from the occasional... 'Episode' of bulimia. Sure, he didn't quit with the beatings: but he began to ignore me as much as possible and even though the... occurrences were more intense, they were fewer and farther between. Aged 12, my father acquired forms for Rhode Island Military Academy. He had people mock up fake birth certificates saying I was 14 so they would take me. RIMA's age limit is 14 but they rarely take anyone under 15 or so, so I was the youngest there by far. I think the drill sergeants had a vague idea I was not quite 14, because they made my first few years that little bit easier than most new recruits'. The other boys there grew kind of fond of me and did what they could to lighten my load."

Gibbs noticed Tony smiling slightly at the memories, obviously some of the only pleasant ones in his childhood.

"The minute I turned 18 (actually 16, but I was still going by the faked birth certificates) my father disowned me and I signed up with the army. Despite being physically smaller than some of my comrades, I ascended through the ranks pretty darn quickly! It seemed like the ideal career – I was doing good in the world, working with friends I loved and who didn't know about my past and couldn't judge me on anything but the true me"

Tony sighed and lowered his voice from the upbeat tone it had acquired whilst talking about his 'happy years' in the army.

"Of course things didn't stay like that for long; happiness never seems to in my life. Three years in, I got tied up in a hostage situation in The Philippines. Saved a young girl and her little brother but my best friend was shot for trying to fight back and they filmed themselves shooting me several times as a ransom video. Of course as protocol they didn't pay up, but they managed to fish me out of there after 22 days, before I was killed. A few hours too late for Bobby, though."

Gibbs wasn't 100% sure of what exactly had been the cause of Tony's friend Bobby's ultimate murder but he was pretty damn sure Tony still held himself wrongly responsible.

"I spent six months in ICU, general hospitals and physiotherapy homes: re-learning to walk, therapy for 'PSTD' after 'watching the brutal murder of a comrade' and hard-core physio sessions. I underwent four operations in total: To remove the bullet from my kneecap, to fix my crushed nose, to get rid of the glass shards in my back and finally the reparation of my shattered knee. Throughout they tried to keep me optimistic but my army career was finished and I was a 21 year old man with a busted knee and no qualifications. So I started working at a garage. It took me 17 months of adult college classes but I finally had a Bachelor in forensic science and a Masters in Criminology*."

Gibbs was very impressed. He knew Tony was smart but he had guessed that had come from years of expensive private education funded by his father, not RIMA training and 17 months in adult college.

'He must be one of those intrinsically clever people...' Gibbs thought to himself.

"So I applied at Philly PD. Started off as a regular rookie. I had street smarts and the Captain saw that in me so I progressed through the ranks pretty quickly. I gained confidence as I was put on more and more cases and offers for undercover work became just too good to resist! I loved undercover work, still do, because it gave me a chance to be someone else for a change. Someone, anyone, without having to be me... But of course things only lasted two years, before my father found me. He hadn't looked hard, I doubt it was even him who typed 'Anthony DiNozzo' into Google, but he had written me a letter. I guess it probably had a load of insults and hate in it but I didn't bother to read it. I burnt it, handed in my resignation and left four days later. Wussy, I know."

Gibbs sat very still, soaking in the new information given to him by his SFA. Boy, if he ever got his hands on Senior he would not be held accountable for his actions that was for sure!

"Same sort of thing happened in Peoria. Settled in quickly, ascended the ranks nicely... But this time the captain and some of the beat cops were all crooked. My partner and his family were threatened and left for New York. I tried to stay and right their wrongs, see justice through with the lot of them, but after an 'unfortunate incident' outside a bar I left pretty quickly. That's how I ended up in Baltimore, and I guess about 18 months later that's when I met you. The only thing different is that I'm 30 now, not 32. It'll be 5 years next month."

Tony collapsed into the chair across from Gibbs, searching his face for any kind of reaction. He had expected anger. Anger at being lied to, about the weaknesses Tony had showed along the way.

What he hadn't expected was what Gibbs did next.

Gibbs had never felt so close to crying since the day he had heard about the death of his girls.

His poor, poor boy. He looked up at Tony, his SFA, his closest family, his son. How could anyone throw away a child as gorgeous, funny and charming as Tony?

He couldn't bear it anymore: so he got to his feet, knees popping softly, and wrapped his arms around Tony. Tony bent into his grasp and Gibbs placed a light kiss on his forehead before resting his chin atop Tony's head.

"I know Tony; you didn't think I would have forgotten an anniversary as important as that!"

***Forgive my ignorance on the subject of American degrees (Bachelors and masters etc.) I am, as you have probably all guessed by now, very much British and unfortunately have little knowledge of how qualifications and degrees work in the different states of America! I probably should have done a little research but my Internet has been down for a while and I wanted to get this chapter up ASAP!**

**A/N: Sorry this took so long, I hope it was worth the wait! Hopefully there weren't too many disappointments with how I managed the way things went... There should be a following up chapter if not an epilogue as well! Please leave your thoughts if you wish, constructive criticism is always appreciated!**


End file.
